“What are you going to do with those pies, boys?”
– second last words of Farmer Gene Green

“Aaaarrrrgh!”
– last words of Farmer Gene Green
Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Happy Halloween! You laugh at them at the circus. You welcome them into your homes to entertain your children. You let them sell you hamburgers. But in this Creature Feature, we look at the horror that is the clown. We discuss clowning through history and clowns in fiction. And while we can’t imagine why anyone would want to play them as protagonists, we share ideas on how you could.

Also check out our video on clowns here.

From the vault! In this previously unreleased episode from 2015, Wayne and Lyal blasphemously tastefully add Christianity to our Pantheon Pandemonium series. This is an episode for those looking for ways to bring the Arian controversy and the Trinity into their RPG (And who isn’t?) or for those who want their in-game religions to feel more realistic.

We also give our reaction to a trailer for a movie that came out in 2016. Current!

In this episode, we pick the five RPGs every role player should have on his or her shelf, including which edition to have. These aren’t our five favourite games or the five most popular games of all time. Nope. These are five games whose mere possession will contribute to your overall gaming experience.

These are the criteria we used. Play along at home.

Innovative
Impact
Representative of a specific type of a game
Widespread
Paid us to mention them (Kidding. No company took us up on our offer.)

“Our people once were warriors. But unlike you, Jake, they were people with mana, pride; people with spirit.”
– Once Were Warriors

Kia ora, mates. This installment of Warriors is about the original Kiwis: the Maori. You won’t be brassed off by this episode. We’re a couple of pakeha, but we give it heaps. This episode is a corker and chock-a-block with elements.  Cheers, bros.

Ka mate! Ka mate! Ka ora! Ka ora!
(Tis death! Tis death! Tis life! Tis life!)

In a world with jumbo shrimp, deafening silences, and open secrets, we get that some people want realistic magic. In this episode, we discuss magic and realism. While we can’t say that you’ll be able to make the magic in your game realistic after listening to the episode, we can promise that you’ll be able to have it make sense.

“I know I’m human. And if you were all these things, then you’d just attack me right now, so some of you are still human. This thing doesn’t want to show itself; it wants to hide inside an imitation. It’ll fight if it has to, but it’s vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it has no more enemies, nobody left to kill it. And then it’s won.”
-MacReady, The Thing

Our month of horror has been reduced to a week, so we give you a plus-sized episode about imposters: doppelgangers, pod people, jumpers, things, etc. Wayne didn’t know that we were allowed to read or see anything for people over eighteen, so be prepared for his tour of the young adult section of the library. We also discuss John Wick’s article “Chess is not an RPG: The Illusion of Game Balance.”

In a world where restraint has died, rifts crisscross the Earth, opening portals to other dimensions. Glitter Boys (not what you think), Cyber-Knights (what you think), Juicers (if you think “post-apocalyptic Lance Armstrong”, then what you think), and vagabonds (what you think – seriously) battle the evil Coalition, demons, and vampires. Are you ready for infinite possibilities, limited only by your imagination?™ (Yep. Palladium trademarked that.)

In this episode, Lyal and Chris provide an introduction to the game where anything goes and everyone is armoured like a tank: Rifts.

Before True Blood, Twilight, Underworld and Vampire Diaries (but a little after Dracula), there was Vampire: The Masquerade. It was a time when email was exotic and we didn’t really have a name yet for those kids that wished for more mall-friendly goth music. Years later, we got Vampire: The Requiem, a game that was lighter on mythology and tighter on rules.  Now, in the post-Twilight era, Onyx Path Publishing, who Lyal insists on calling “Onyx Publishing”, gives us Blood and Smoke: The Strix Chronicle.

In Part 1, we focus on the setting. What clans are in it? Who are the Strix? Can you play Edward? All these questions and more will be answered.

This is how you do edition rage, Internet: you don’t.

In this episode, World of Darkness superfans Wayne and Lyal review The God-Machine Chronicle, which includes the World of Darkness rules update. Chris also claims to be a fan. Yet, he can never remember the rules, and when it comes time to record the episode, his daughter gets “sick”.

This turned out to be a really long episode, so we broke it into two parts. This part covers most of the character rules. The “story” rules (e.g., combat) and the setting will be discussed in Part 2.

With 2013 coming to an end, we decide to make gaming resolutions, the geekiest kind of all. Listen to find out what games we will strive to play and make in 2014. Chris’s first resolution opens with an apology of sorts. Unfortunately, as usual, no one can remember what he said before to warrant the apology.  Wayne’s resolution kind of comes out of nowhere, as if he made it up just for this episode. It will be interesting to see if he’ll ever bring it up again. Lyal’s resolution is a repeat from an earlier episode. However, if 2013 has taught us anything, it’s that Lyal can and will repeat himself.